Survivor Mom

I’m still in the state of shock right now because I found out that my other blog is missing. My body trembles and I felt like cold water is running from my head to toe. This is the first time I experience this. What worry me so much is that i have paid posts in that blog. How will I explain it to the company? I’m afraid of the outcome in case it can no longer be restored. God please help!

I really regret that i made a wrong choice with our house. I acquire our house through housing loan which i’m still paying up to now. It’s a two-storey house but looks like a bungalow. The second floor have an attic-like style. I said i made a mistake because i really don’t like our ceiling, it’s too low that’s why i cannot place a ceiling fan. And today i saw some beautiful Casablanca ceiling fans which made me feel so dismayed over my bad decision.Sigh.. Anyway, who knows maybe someday i can buy a new house and this time i’ll make sure it will have a ceiling perfect for my dream ceiling fans.

How’s your weekend? Mine was great because we had a good day celebrating my father and my niece’s birthday yesterday. We thought at first the weather will not cooperate because there was a dark cloud and threatening to pour a hard rain but thank God the wind blew it away and it didn’t rain in our place. The children’s party turned out to be funny and wacky, everyone was very happy participating in all the games.

Anyway, since it’s Monday and i’m back to work again and this week is going to be a very busy week for me. To start with today i need to make a review on term life insurance quotes, then i’ll make another report here in our office which my co-employee is making a follow up already.hehe So this is it for now, have a nice day!

I’m loosing weight without taking diet pill or any effort, the reason? well, i’m experiencing emotional stress and depression right now! I can’t eat and sleep well these past days. But even if i’m quite happy that i don’t have to take nuphedragen fat burner anymore, still i’m not thankful that i’m loosing weight naturally because on the other hand i’m gaining more wrinkles, eyebags and dark circles. And i would rather choose to look fat than to look old and ugly!

If only we could transfer to another house, without thinking twice i’ll do at once. Our current house has brought me too many painful memories that affected me so much, emotionally and spiritually. And the hurt feelings won’t go away as long as we’re staying in our place. There’s so many bitterness in my heart that prevents me from moving on especially that the house we’re living in is the same source of this bitter feeling. For me the saying is true, that you can forgive but it’s hard to forget.

Anyway, there’s no way for me to escape this heart breaking situation and all I can this is to accept the fact that I’m stocked here for now. I just thought of giving our house a new look that will somehow give me a lighter mood. I will start with changing our curtains with  blinds and painting our room with a different color. I hope we can do it as soon as possible, i don’t want to be in this miserable feeling any longer.

I’m thankful that my skin is not prone to  acne, if it does I think I’ll be suffering from a lot of stress and depression because it will add up more to my insecurities. Yes, i do feel insecure especially that my husband is very vocal about his admiration to beautiful and sexy women.  I know i’m not beautiful and sexy so it hurts a little. Hayz, sometimes i can’t help it, i really feel bad about myself.

It’s Monday and i’m back to work again but unlike the previous weeks where i always come to work feeling down and low,  today i am full of energy and enthusiasm. Why? because yesterday i was able to find the Church where we could fellowship with other believers and aside from that i feel that God led me to this Church because He has a calling for me. And guess what, the Pastor’s wife told me that God can use me in their ministry and i’m so happy i got the confirmation that God indeed led me and guide me to where i should be.

I’m grateful i could start a new chapter in my life after another devastating trials and strong winds of doubt bombarded me again in the past weeks.  Well, I will pour my heart out about this happening next time to share with you the goodness God has done in my life..once again.

For now, I need to locate a supplier of  stainless steel drum first or else my boss will scold me.hehe Anyway, til my next post. Have a great day!